Zack Wheeler Is A Redneck

Zack Wheeler, a young pitcher with a lot of promise for a great future here in Queens, is a redneck. An absolute hick. This shouldn't come as a complete surprise, as he hails from Smyrna, Georgia, but it makes you wonder how much he likes coping with New York City. Before you, I will lay the evidence.

Wow it's like a new truck. The black is black again and not gray and the baby is shining lol. Waxed and detailed pic.twitter.com/Ppm2Ggyv
— Zack Wheeler (@Wheelerpro45) January 26, 2013

Yes, that is basically a monster truck. No way that thing gets more than 9 MPG. Uncivilized bumpkin.

4 deer in the back yard pic.twitter.com/b8qe8sNk
— Zack Wheeler (@Wheelerpro45) June 13, 2012

And I bet all you want to do is shoot them, don't you big guy? Those deer have mothers. Fathers. What did they ever do to you?!

Front row at smackdown. Can't beat it. Thanks @TheCurtHawkins for the hookup pic.twitter.com/9jevv0IG8J
— Zack Wheeler (@Wheelerpro45) November 19, 2013

Taking in a little wrasslin', Zack? Jeez, I hope you didn't have too many Natty Ices in the parking lot beforehand, hillbilly.

Went to sleep about 3am back up at 7 all because of fishing
— Zack Wheeler (@Wheelerpro45) October 12, 2013

They sell fish at the supermarket, stump jumper.

Eric Church pandora is on point for this flight right now
— Zack Wheeler (@Wheelerpro45) June 28, 2013

Actual Eric Church lyrics: "Man I love how Redman tastes, and damn I love my Nascar race."

My advice, folks: if you see Wheeler at the stadium, try not to approach him to quickly. Speak to him slowly, using small words. Ask him if he likes the big buildings, and if he's gotten to ride in a taxi yet. Humor this redneck, because we need him to win some games this year.